Friday, February 20, 2015

The Uemisaisen Patrol

Today's post takes us to Caldari space. During another patrol day, our Falcon detected some robot-like ganking behaviour in a system known as Uemisaisen. CONCORD presence in a belt and outlaw criminals blinking in Local were confirming it.

Before their criminal timers ended, I had to find other possible gank targets in system and guess which one was going to be targeted by the gankers next. Finally, D-Scan showed a Retriever in the far reaches of the system. At the same time, the gankers' criminal timer ended and D-Scan was now showing many combat probes appearing around that Retriever. 

Obviously, they were using the probing technique for their ganks, and most probably, they were about to find this Retriever.


Our Falcon was already in position at the belt. 



The combat probes disappeared. What followed (as expected) was the appearence of two Catalysts on D-Scan.

Ganker ship names is a complicated yet interesting subject in the field of EVE sociology. During the Caldari Ice Interdiction 2013, some CFC gankers used to yell "ALLAHU AKBAR!" in Local while warping to their targets with their Catalysts named "الجهاد سربسرب "  

This time, the ganker ship names were "DISEASE" and "FAMINE". Oh my. Even local residents started renaming their own ships to protest against such naughtiness:

While the Catalysts were in warp towards our belt, I decided not to decloak my Falcon… Why would I? The miner was aligning.

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Unlike an AFK carebear, this miner was doing Anti-Ganking by simply remaining at keyboard and checking D-Scan. About 7 seconds later, the Retriever was already warping away.

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Glorious. Meanwhile, the bot-aspirant Catalysts were still foolishly expecting to land on that Retriever. But they were now warping to an empty asteroid belt.

As they landed to the empty belt, our Falcon, far away, was silently watching and chuckling at them. Things weren't going as they had planned. There was no Retriever!

Having seen the absence of their target, they warped away before the arrival of faction police:

After staying there for 5 more minutes, I was convinced that the Retriever was either out of system or it was still docked. The frustrated gankers were also docked, and their scout ran another series of probing to find another target.

There was another Retriever at the other end of the system, and judging from my scan results, he was the only Retriever in that area, at that moment. 

Therefore, I definitely expected to see both Catalysts land on this one. See, Anti-Ganking is also about predicting and guessing ganker decisions.

Again, our courageous Falcon arrived to the scene long before the gank scout managed to provide the warp on this Retriever. About a minute later, as expected, our lovely friends "FAMINE" and "DISEASE" appeared on D-Scan again…

…followed by their landing on our belt. Well, as you can guess, it looked like they were about to fail again!

Our Falcon started to cure the disease immediately.

Two successful jamming cycles were quickly applied on both Catalysts. As the strong waves of ionized particles traveled from my pair of jammers to the two bot-aspirant Catalysts, the beautiful scenery painted the liquid space between my Falcon and the entire asteroid belt.

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It was the light of Anti-Ganking. The light of guidance brought to the darkened minds that lacked ECCM, civilization and innovation. Having seen my Falcon and their inability to lock anything, the Catalysts warped away.

Did I tell you how much I love ganker tears? Yeah I think I did. Upon aborting the gank, one of the Catalyst pilots Greg Inglis obeyed to the ganker bingo. He found my intervention "interesting". Anti-Ganking is certainly interesting, but it's not about saving miner's life only. It's also about saving the gankers from themselves and contributing to Highsec content. Thanks to our Falcon, Greg Inglis (although frustrated) probably had the most interesting moment of his entire ganking routine in EVE. 

Whenever I engage a ganker with or without success, I like to salute them with a 'gf' or 'o7', just like a Lowsec dweller would do after having a cool fight. They're my in-game opponents. Some gankers respond in the same way, and that's a healthy EVE situation: mutual respect between gankers and anti-gankers. Some gankers, however, spout insane non-sense.

He thought that he needed to be killed in order to learn and innovate. 

The art of Ganker Jamming constitutes the apogee of my lesson-teaching Anti-Ganking activities. Greg had just learned a valuable lesson from our Falcon which forced him to canceling the gank. Like I always say, it's hard to understand a ganker's state of mind. Normal people would usually learn from their mistakes. Was it so hard for Greg to respond gallantly and concentrate on actually useful things like fitting ECCM and purchasing a permit?

If I had a penny for every time a ganker accused me of being a "hater", I could retire. The empty words and tears of Greg were followed by Kayla FlyingDuck -being the other Catalyst pilot- who apparently didn't understand the true philosophy of Anti-Ganking. After our Falcon's educative service, Kayla quickly accused me of being a "Code hater". Apparently, using valid game mechanics equals "hating" in her book. 

We real Anti-Gankers don't hate anybody. We play the game and have fun shooting you. Maybe Kayla thought for a moment that I was one of those numerous hateful AFK carebears who send RL death threats and do nothing in-game. We're not them, they're not "anti-gankers".

The Falcon
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Another gank was stopped, another pair of bot-aspirant gankers were educated. It was a glorious day of Anti-Ganking in Uemisaisen. The Catalysts were returning to station like terrified rabbits, the saved miner was enjoying the Pyroxeres and local was filled with ganker tears. Meanwhile, only one thought was in my mind: I love jamming Catalysts.