Friday, December 19, 2014

Don't be like DarZ (Ganker Turn Away)

Ganker tears tend to be a special form of water commodity. It's almost always a combination of anger, hatred and empty words. Let's take a look at another example.

Wuos is one of those populated Highsec systems in The Forge region. During one of my vigilant Falcon patrols at the ice belt of Wuos, some Venture belonging to Perry Rodent landed at the belt.

The fact that a Venture cannot mine ice is known by nearly all ice miners, and most of us do know that the Venture is a preferred ship for the gank scouts. However, it was too early to say if he is a scout or not. Yet, soon after landing, Perry Rodent started approaching a distant Retriever with his top-secret Venture. 

He believed that he wouldn't catch attention if he scouted in a Venture. Unlike Dwin Utrigas who scouts and provides warp-ins with a Procurer, Perry was quite naive.
When a suspicious-looking ship like this approaches a mining barge in Highsec, the odds are, a warp-in will be provided for some gankers.

Perry was now very close to the Retriever. A gank scout with an average intelligence and game knowledge would probably have enough experience to not waste too much time and provide warp-in at the first mining barge he approaches. However, Perry was a slow, indecisive scout. He decided to leave that Retriever alone and started approaching another miner, a Mackinaw, which he eventually got very close to. That was the target, maybe?

It's hard to believe, I know, but Perry didn't provide warp-in this time either. Instead, he started approaching another Retriever. He was foolishly wandering in the ice belt, catching more and more attention while "discretely" looking for a target in his secret Venture. He seemed to be an indecisive, uncertain rookie who scouted for possibly another bunch of bot-aspirant, terrible Catalysts. He couldn't even find a target properly.

The gank scouts tend to find the most accurate names for themselves. As Perry Rodent was wandering in the ice belt like a rodent, every move in his actions was being observed by our vigilant Falcon, while we were also keeping an eye in Local.

At last, Perry finally thought that he found the right target. Soon after Perry got very close to that other Retriever, two entries appeared in Local chat. 

…exactly what I wanted to see. 

As any Anti-Ganker will tell you, the robot-like behavior of many gankers is confirmed by their movements, their multiboxing and also their repetitive statements in Local. Another sign, of course, is their ship choice which is the Catalyst. Therefore, I wasn't surprised when the two Catalysts appeared on D-Scan.

This is where we notice another sign of bot-aspirancy. As you can see, even a regular mission runner Golem has a more creative and original name than a brain-washed pair of bot-aspirant Catalysts which lack so much individuality that they're like named by an automated program.

While the two outlaw heretics were in warp towards the belt, I decloaked my Falcon.

When it comes to ganker behavior, I have several theories. But I won't talk all about that today. The two Catalysts appeared on grid and since they were outlaws (-10), it was possible to engage them from the moment they landed without having to wait them become criminals. About 3 seconds later, I was already jamming one of them (Plasma Death) and just before starting to jam the second one (Liek DarZ), having noticed my Falcon, they didn't engage the miner and aborted the gank. 

   [ 2014.12.05 23:01:09 ] Jason Sleepless > löl
   [ 2014.12.05 23:01:14 ] Jason Sleepless > warped away

In frustration, they warped away immediately, doing the typical "ganker turn away". The so-called "invincible enforcers" were now the fleeing ones. 

"they're not so "invincible" as they pretend to be, huh? :P"
          -Hadrien Victus 

Another gank was prevented, another pair of bot-aspirants was thought a lesson.

A gallant, intelligent and respectful ganker would thank me in Local chat for teaching him a lesson. 
Nevertheless, Liek DarZ was more like the ignorant type, similar to the majority of his kin. He started spouting insane non-sense.

Upon ruining their gank as a generous Anti-Ganker of Highsec, I sincerely asked if he would be interested in a ganking permit.

[ 2014.12.05 23:00:46 ] Azov Rassau > Liek DarZ Are you interested in a ganking permit?

Liek's tears were a form of mixed water commodity composed of empty words and stealth hatred. Certainly, there was some traces of the ganker bingo as well. To mask his frustration, he felt obliged to say something. However, that resulted in a hilarious non-sense set of expressions. For your own good Liek DarZ, in these cases, it's always better to either stay silent or put a simple 'gf' in Local.

What was he babbling about? Just a moment ago, his lack of permit, ECCM, courtesy and civilization was punished by the victorious enforcement of my Falcon's electronic principles. By saying "you cannot enforce it" (which is actually different than his words "you can not enforce it"), he showed his misunderstanding of our purpose. I enforce the N-CODE of Highsec.

It is my goal to teach gankers lessons by enforcing magnetometry. 
In my case, the permit will be revoked if you don't fit ECCM. Fitting their ships in that clever way is how gankers pledge their loyalty to the art of ganker jamming. Liek DarZ not only lacked a permit, but he also didn't have a proper gank Catalyst fitting, judging from his records.

Liek DarZ certainly wasn't really understanding his own words either. So I helped him by giving some information related to the permit.

At the same time, I was still hoping to get a honest answer from him about why he couldn't gank that Retriever within my sight. However, he continued to enforce the ganker bingo and tried another way of changing the subject by telling me that all I do is appearing on CONCORD Killmails...

…which is another ignorant phrase that gankers like to express. Instead of admitting their failure and bot-aspirancy, they always try to hide behind the "CONCORD kill" statement and try attacking with it, as if we summon CONCORD all the time to come and help us, so that we can appear on their Killmails. It is known by many people, including several honest and intelligent gankers, that a genuine Anti-Ganker's utmost priority is to prevent the gank itself while also creating content for almost everyone. Meanwhile, CONCORD *****s on the Killmail. Another fun fact is, when Liek DarZ said the above, I had just got back from 6 months long Lowsec shenanigans with hundreds of kills (full of "Non-CONCORD kills" as he says it).

It is important to base a statement on coherently chosen material. While I was busy quickly documenting all the logs and screenshots, Liek DarZ had already left the system.
It's not easy to have a proper communication with these lazy gank-bots. Upon seeing a single sign of opposition, they spew one or two baseless assumptions and then run away immediately. Why do they lack so much dignity and willpower to adapt and innovate?

"some of them log off, switch system or even regions. while few of them prefer to fit eccm and show a sign of courage."
          -Azov Rassau 

As I always say, gankers can be turned into higher quality EVE players if we give them the necessary guidance and tell them how to fit their ships properly. I strongly believe that we can save Liek DarZ as well. Click here to see our official Catalyst fitting advice for him.

Don't be liek DarZ. Instead, be liek a ganker who respects emergent gameplay and adapts to deal with it.


  1. the stabber James uses is "invincible" not the catalysts, or their pilots.
    please check your facts and get your head out of your port hole before you post things that make you look like an uneducated trollop.

    1. I usually don't waste my time with ignorant and ugly comments like yours but since you're using some strong words, I'll do. The fact that many of your ganker buddies consider themselves as "always-winning" isn't much different than calling themselves "invincible enforcers". I am amazed by how that detail in the text became a problem for you and how quick you were to attack with it. I can edit that part if it hurts you so much... Your comment tends to be close to the edge cases which I tolerate to, but if trashtalking goes further in the path of ugly and disrespectful comments I will have to remove them. This isn't your own Local chat after all.
      Also why you have to post as anon. :(