Friday, January 16, 2015

Advanced Machariel Maintenance - January Edition

One of the main complaints that come from AFK haulers is that there are no ways to counter bumping. However, reality says otherwise. It is a known fact that vigilant scouting and effective webbing are working ways of avoiding the bumpers.

Unlike the angry, AFK and whining carebears, we like to use valid game mechanics. Anti-Ganking isn't all about jamming fail-fit Catalysts. It is also about… ganking Machariels. Freighter bumpers are going down one by one in quite a regular basis. As any Anti-Ganker will tell you, there is great satisfaction in killing those Machariels. 

In Lowsec for example, you can regularly see glorious Machariel fits like this:




In Highsec however, laughable and robotic activities like freighter bumping results in strange-looking fits focusing on speed and agility. Therefore, although fitting some tank is important, spatial awareness is a lot more important for survival.



Taishan Mandragoran doing his last cargo-scan with that Machariel, named "Travasek's Machariel" according to D-Scan results.
Source: personal screenshot collection


Just like Taishan Mandragoran who was liberated previously, Siegfried Cohenberg believed he could safely bump freighters and provide warp-ins for the bot-aspirant Catalysts without any risk. Judging from his behavior, it is quite obvious that he thought he was 100% safe in Highsec while enforcing his robot-like bumping activity without having a bumping permit. After all, in addition to minimal scouting, anyone who checks Local, D-Scan and Overview grid can avoid losing a ship in Highsec.

In fact, if you pay attention (=play the game), it's so difficult to die in Highsec that anyone who dies there probably wanted to die. 

Thankfully, Highsec is a competitive environment with many people from a variety of backgrounds. More and more people from Nullsec alliances, Highsec miners and Anti-Gankers are eagerly training their main's/alt's blaster skills to enforce this generous activity as follows.




Siegfried was once again aspiring to be a bumping bot in his Machariel. He had a Damage Control II (we don't know if it was even active at all) and Large Shield Extender II, nevertheless, his bumping permit slot was empty. 
Content Generators Agent Tom, Jennifer en Marland, Slania Auduin and Armand Patrouette saved him from his brain-washed tendencies by bringing justice and punishing his Machariel.






Soon after being liberated from his bot-aspirant Machariel, Siegfried started babbling in EVE forums again, talking about why freighter pilots should pay him for a safe passage.





Bumper education is a process with a duration that depends on the bumper's willingness to learn. Judging from the above statement, it looks like someone needs to be ganked again.

Interestingly, even the most experienced fleet commanders can become 
bot-aspirant when they start bumping freighters. Freighter bumping, in itself, constitutes the apogee in the list of robot-like and boring things you can do with the ruthless Machariel in EVE. Apex Aubaris is a known and respected fleet commander of Spectre Fleet and other shenanigans. Considering the mental state of Siegfried and the nature of freighter bumping, it is quite surprising to see someone like Apex do the same activity in a very similar manner.



The Machariel of Niarja
 source: personal screenshot collection



Yes, similar. It looks like he made a mistake by ignoring the bumping permit slot, cloaking device, spatial awareness and general vigilance. Moreover, there was nothing in High slots. A disgusting sight that can bring nightmares to the engineers and designers of Angel Cartel who worked so much for introducing this epic behemoth to New Eden. 

What happens when all these dangerous mistakes are made?





Content Generators Slania Auduin, Arrtidius, Scott Bacon and Armand Patrouette delivers the punishment by means of advanced Machariel maintenance. 







With total care, the anti-tanked Machariel vaporized within seconds as a result of this generous intervention. Angel Cartel's faith in Highsec Machariels was restored and the victim was reminded that the rules of EVE apply to everybody: tank your ship and pay attention to your surroundings. 

As you can see, the usage of valid game mechanics against gankers work much better than sending insults, RL threats or homophobic slurs to them. 
Anti-ganking through ganking: now that's emergent content. 

"There are some people who don't want to wait for new mechanics and just gank our Machs. We like these people. Eve is really a great game if you play it." 
-John E Normus

Although outnumbered by the large mass of whining carebears, 
real Anti-gankers are continuing to enjoy EVE by using the already-available mechanics. 

Player Versus Player. Working as intended. 

2 comments:

  1. This is hilarious. Well done.

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